Effective communication is one of the cornerstones of relationship. It is the means by which we form connections with others, work out inevitable conflicts that arise, make plans for the future, collaborate on a project, or achieve greater intimacy. It can be far more difficult than any of us first imagined. After all, we’ve been doing it all our lives, right?
When I see couples or families in therapy, improving communication is often the first goal. Many people when they first begin counseling are convinced that they are already good communicators but come to find that many of their skills need honing. Since it is so much easier to begin with effective skills than to break old habits, my dream would be that children would learn the skills of communication starting in kindergarten. Until that day dawns, we will need good self-help resources that are practical, simple and straightforward.
Out of the many excellent books on communication, we have found Marshall Rosenberg’s teaching of nonviolent communication to be one of the most user-friendly. This model is excellent and is simple enough to be used by children, teens, couples, and families. Rosenberg has since been a regular presenter at Santa Barbara’s Adult Education since the 1980’s, and Don and I loved his one-day workshop. He arrived with guitar and puppets, telling stories through songs, sharing his communication model. Marshall is also a man with an inspiring vision to create a more loving, peaceful world by changing not only the way that we communicate but also the way that we think and act towards others. To this effect, Rosenberg started a non-profit organization which is now international in its scope.
You can learn non-violent communication either through books, tapes, videos, or workshops. If you like books, check out Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life. If you want to learn more about NVC and access videos, audios and local support groups, you can visit the international non-profit Center for Nonviolent Communication.
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