A three year longitudinal study confirmed what family therapists have observed clinically for decades–namely that patterns of family interaction have profound effects on children–both for better and for worse. Melissa Sturge-Apple, a researcher from the University of Rochester, studied 234 families with 6 year-old children, and followed the adjustment of the kids in their first […]
The Come Here and Go Away Blues of Parenting Teens
One of my favorite books describing the inevitable conflict that parents have with teenagers is Get Out of My Life, but First Could You Drive Me and Cheryl to the Mall?: A Parent’s Guide to the New Teenager, written by Dr. Anthony Wolf, a clinical psychologist. First published in 1992, the book is now in […]
How to Balance Closeness and Distance in Relationship
“The point of marriage is not to create a quick commonality by tearing down all boundaries; on the contrary, a good marriage is one in which each partner appoints the other to be the guardian of his solitude, and thus they show each other the greatest possible trust. A merging of two people is an […]
Improving the Dance of Intimate Connection
One of our favorite self-help books for clients, especially women, who need to focus on creating more healthy boundaries is The Dance of Intimacy by Harriet Lerner, published in 1990 but still relevant today. Written by a family therapist and staff psychologist from the Menninger Clinic, the book highlights the importance of women defining themselves […]
The Importance of Healthy Boundaries
“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” Eleanor Roosevelt How often do you say things out loud or to yourself like: “He makes me feel stupid” or “I’m depressed because she is always criticizing me” or “He/she won’t let me do that. think that, feel that…”? If you believe that your self-esteem […]
