A three year longitudinal study confirmed what family therapists have observed clinically for decades–namely that patterns of family interaction have profound effects on children–both for better and for worse. Melissa Sturge-Apple, a researcher from the University of Rochester, studied 234 families with 6 year-old children, and followed the adjustment of the kids in their first three years of school. The study included direct observation of the kids as well as both parent and teacher reports.
The team identified three different family structures: cohesive, enmeshed, and disengaged. The cohesive families were more happy and loving with relationships characterized by harmonious interactions, emotional warmth, firm boundaries, and clear roles for parents and children. The enmeshed families were emotionally involved with one another but in addition to warmth, there were higher levels of hostility, over-involvement or destructive meddling in each other’s lives, and only a limited sense of teamwork. The disengaged families were characterized by too little emotional connection between family members, a lack of teamwork, and relationships that could be described as cold, controlling and withdrawn. Can you guess what effect the family structure had on kids’ adjustment in school?
The children from the disengaged families had the most problems adjusting to school, and their problems showed up right away. Kids from this type of unhappy family were more likely to be aggressive and were often inappropriate in class. They were more alienated from teachers, and had a harder time obeying the rules. Over the course of three years, the problems continued to get worse. Kids from disengaged families became more alienated from teachers and peers and were prone to depression and anxiety as well.
The children from the enmeshed families looked initially like they were adjusting to school as well as the kids from the cohesive group since they didn’t have the behavioral problems seen in the disengaged group. However, as time went on, these children had more problems with “internalizing” behaviors like depression and anxiety. As their problems progressed, so did their alienation from teachers and peers.
This research is important in a number of ways. First, it verifies what family therapists have described about the importance of healthy boundaries. The cohesive families had clear boundaries, particularly between adults and children, in contrast to the overly close, boundaryless enmeshed or the rigidly distant disengaged systems. As a result, the kids from these families were able to adjust socially and emotionally and could adapt and thrive in their new school environment.
Besides helping to confirm the importance of family structure, the researchers learned another important fact. They noted that “what was striking was that these family relationship patterns were not only stable across different relationships but also across time, with very few families switching patterns.” Given the pain and difficulties encountered by the kids from these less healthy family structures, I hope this research will encourage parents to get the help they need, while the children are still young, to change these problematic modes of relating.
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