How to Improve Positive Thinking and Behavior

Research on happy, healthy families (and happy, healthy individuals as well) shows that the parents in these families emphasize the positive, yearning to bring out the best in one another in spite of individual differences in temperament, talents or interests. Studies of successful families from diverse backgrounds share this common thread. They teach core values such as honesty, fairness, kindness and responsibility, and typically foster a spiritual or philosophical perspective that includes serving something greater than just ourselves. Rather than focusing on complaints or how the glass is half full, these parents teach children how to learn from mistakes, apologize for wrongdoings, and have gratitude for what they already possess.

If you did not come from such a family, you may need some help to be able to change your thinking towards a more optimistic, positive point of view. A great place to start is with one of the books of psychologist Martin Seligman, a professor at the University of Pennsylvania and the current Director of their Positive Psychology Center. Author of many classics in the rapidly rising field of positive psychology, we recommend most highly his book Learned Optimism: How to Change Your Mind and Your Life, published in 2006. Not only does this book give the reader an overview of the theory and research on both optimism and pessimism, it includes tests for both parent and child to determine levels of positive and negative thinking. The final third of the book provides the most hands-on learning with worksheets for both parents and their children.

If you would prefer to be inspired through film rather than through a book, depending on the age of your children you could watch The Lion King and discuss the virtues illustrated in this film classic. Two other favorites of mine are Pay It Forward and The Pursuit of Happyness. Watching a movie together at home with time to talk about what you each have learned can be a fun way to cultivate more positive outlooks and behaviors in yourself and your kids.