A recent news article by Elizabeth Cohen, Senior Medical Correspondent for CNN Health, examines the effects of bitterness on our health and well-being. This research finding and others are spelled out in a hefty textbook called Embitterment: Societal, Psychological and Clinical Perspectives. For the vast majority of us who will not wade through this material, here are some important points for the health of our families. Bitter, angry people can make themselves sick, suffering from higher blood pressure, increased risk of heart disease and other ailments. “The data that negative mental states cause heart problems is just stupendous” say Dr. Charles Raison from Emory University School of Medicine.
What intrigued me about the article was the emphasis about how important it is to forgive, if only for the sake of your own physical health, but also the tips that were offered about how to do so. The researchers (not just psychotherapists!) suggest you start by venting the negative feelings. Next think about others who have had terrible things done to them as well. Consider the “perpetrator’s” mental and emotional state that might have caused their actions.And finally, ponder how you are only harming yourself by holding onto blame. Additional thoughts on this topic can be found in Chapter Eight of our book, How’s Your Family Really Doing?: 10 Keys to a Happy Loving Family. The takeaway message in a nutshell: Don’t let things leave a bitter taste in your mouth if you want to stay healthy.
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